Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Watcha Thinking About? - Part Two

Being aware of the thoughts that pass through our minds on a consistent basis is extremely important.  Positive thoughts have positive effects on our health and vice versa.  However, there is another component to detoxifying our thoughts that we must not forget...When I received the notice that I was in the 'clear' cancer free and didn't need any further treatment, I thought everything was fine and over.  What I didn't realize was I actually hadn't processed what had happened to me.  I had disconnected myself from my experience.  One year later the emotions of darkness, sadness and fear all came flooding through and hit me like a freight train.  This happened to me when I was in a situation thinking I was ready to help others with cancer.  I came to understand that yes I was cancer free but wasn't necessarily completely 'healthy' again.  I hadn't truly accepted what had happened to me.  It IS so important to focus on the positive I truly believe this but it is also crucial to process the adversities in our lives as well.  I can honestly admit I didn't know how to do this and was genuinely afraid of the hurt.  However, I also knew I would never be truly clear of my experience if I didn't take the time to acknowledge what really happened.  Practicing yoga, meditation, writing and talking about my cancer experience were extremely helpful.  This was tough but became less and less challenging each time I expressed my anger and fears.  Then I met Jasna the owner of Sun Yoga Studio in Oakville.  She said to me "with a traumatic experience you have to accept, observe and let it go".  Jasna explained further that once you learn to "let it go" you must fill that space with a positive affirmation.  So I began with acceptance.  To me accepting meant acknowledging that this really did happen and admitting to myself the actual impact that it had.  Jasna clarified that the observation component of this process is understanding the lesson you learned from your experience.  The lesson learning part does not necessarily become apparent right away.  But for me I definitely have taken away a much deeper and greater appreciation for my life.  Finally, by letting go we release the hold this experience may be having over us.  Then we must choose to fill the empty space, which was holding the negative emotions, with gratitude, compassion or whatever may be appropriate for us.  I chose to fill my space with gratitude.  I feel so fortunate that my cancer was found when it was.  Yes, I had to have major surgery which did interrupt our lives for a period of time and was really scary.  But I didn't have to face some of the treatments that many courageous cancer victims have to and I am still alive to hold my children and my husband everyday!  Jasna helped me to simplify my emotional healing process.  She used language that made sense to me and gave me the ability to feel truly in the 'clear', mind, body and spirit.  I am definitely less toxic because of this process.  Honestly, acceptance hurt, observation was confusing and conflicting, but letting it go and enjoying the gratitude was and still is so worth it!