Celebrate.

My son Tyler scored his first goal ever in hockey today.  Now it was at practice but this was a massive accomplishment for him.  Tyler is the first in our family to ever to play hockey and needless to say when he got on the ice at the skills assessment back in the fall that was painfully obvious.  We showed up at the skills assessment with an extremely excited little boy who at 7 was so mentally ready to take on the hockey world and show everyone what he could do.  As we approached the ice there were about 50 other children on the ice and about 100 parents and grandparents watching.  We were one of the last family's to get out on the ice as our experience with getting dressed in hockey equipment was limited and it took us a significant amount of time.  When we were finally ready to get Tyler out onto the ice we saw about 50 mini, super speedy, crazy coordinated, clearly have been doing this for a few years, 7 year old hockey players.  My husband and I looked at each other in complete and utter shock feeling as though we have just thrown our son under the bus and will be paying for years of therapy for how traumatizing this experience was going to be.  However, in true Tyler style he simply stepped onto the ice with more courage than the king of the jungle and attempted to skate with the others.  He did have some skating experience but his ability to simply stand on the ice was no match to these 7 year old semi pro's.  He fell A LOT!  Then the coach blew his whistle to which every other child immediately skated to the middle of the ice where the coach was waiting.  Tyler for no word of a lie to took 2 full minutes standing up and falling down in efforts to approach the coach.  He did finally make it to his destination where they described how the skills assessment was going to work.  At this point I am sobbing and my husband is pacing like a crazy person both of us feeling like we have just written a coarse on how to severely ruin your child's self esteem.  As they move forward in the assessment all the kids have to line up at one end of the ice and then skate to the opposite end in lines.  I am sweating profusely at this point and trying through tear stained cheeks to smile and give a thumbs up to tell my son he is doing a great job.  Row by row the kids skate across the ice, Tyler's row is the last to go and somehow he manages to make it across the ice without falling.  He is last by a mile but he makes it.  Amazingly, as he passes us on his way we manage to make eye contact with him and the smile on his face couldn't get any bigger.  After a full hour of constant reminders that your child is the absolute worst skater on the ice my husband and I anxiously await for him to come off of the ice to assess the amount of psychological as well as, physical damage that may have been done.  To our complete and utter surprise he was ecstatic!.  We asked him what he thought and he said "did you see I started to skate faster" followed by "thank goodness some of those guys will be on my team to help score goals".  We were speechless and in that moment our 7 year old taught us a very powerful lesson.  Tyler has continued with his hockey and progressively improved but still was the worst player in the league but always smiling.  We decided to put him in a power skate program to help him with his skills.  It helped immensely.  Then in his third power skate lesson he purposefully skated towards, grabbed the puck and scored.  We were so proud of him especially considering how grim it looked at the beginning of the year.  When he came home he said he wanted to draw a picture with a puck, streamers and a title that said "you did it".  It was past his bedtime and I had an internal debate about it.  However, after about a 2 second delay I said "absolutely, this is an accomplishment and shows how your practice and determination really pays off".  Again he taught us a life lesson.  Stop and take the time to celebrate.  Celebrate the efforts, the accomplishments, the falls, and even the failures.  What really matters is "you did it".  You chose to show up, to take the plunge.  It may not be the NHL, the olympics or for that matter an official game but he still did it.  So often we get caught up in how an accomplishment is "supposed" look and if it doesn't come out perfectly trimmed with a bow on top then it must not be worth celebrating.  However, so much is worth celebrating, the willingness to simply stand up, fall down and stand up again is a celebration.  The willingness to try something new is a celebration.  Life is interesting, it has it's challenges but it also has it's gifts.  Life is worth celebrating don't forget to acknowledge where you are and that "you did it".

Fill your life with surprises.

We recently just returned from what I would call a holiday of a lifetime.  We went to Alberta, Canada and were fortunate enough to indulge in some of the magical wonders this part of Canada has to offer.  All, while spending quality time with our family over one of my most favourite times of the year, Christmas.   This trip all came about when my brother-in-law and husband decided to surprise our family with a trip to Calgary so my sister and I's family could spend Christmas together.  The opportunity of all of us with all of the kids to have this special day together hasn't happened in years, so to say this was surreal would be an understatement.  My husband filled me in a about week maybe 10 days earlier that this trip was happening, my kids didn't know.  This was one of my busiest Decembers for work in history so I was over the moon excited and totally overwhelmed.  Needless to say with many late nights, a sink full of dishes and couch filled with clean but unfolded laundry Christmas eve morning the surprise was put into motion.  Our flight was at 7am so the taxi picked us up at 4:30am.  We managed to get our kids dressed and into the car all still asleep.  At one point my younger son did ask where are we going, to which I responded somewhere special.  He was too groggy to press any further but simply smiled and rested his tired head back on my lap.  We arrived at the airport and although my skin was crawling with exhaustion, I could barely contain my excitement.  The kids woke up at this point shocked to find themselves near the Air Canada check in counter but were bursting with curiosity.  We finally, told them we were going to spend Christmas with their cousins and they jumped up and down in pure joy and they couldn't stop reminding us "how awesome" this Christmas was going to be.  We landed safely in Calgary and the plan was put into action, my sister and her kids had no idea we were coming.  We made a few stops on the way and then arrived to their house as my sister was out with her kids.  She had a few things to pick up so she needed my bother-in-law to come and grab the kids from wherever they were.  Once we were settled in the house and my sister had called and texted multiple times (her frustration building) my brother-in-law went to pick up the kids for them to come home and find some unexpected Christmas guests.  They were so delighted when they walked through the door and kept saying this was going to be the best Christmas ever.  My sister was still out getting a few last bits as most of us will do Christmas eve, so we all had time to get set up to hide for when she walked through the door.  As the seconds felt like minutes we waited hiding around the corner with kids who were wiggling like mad with excited joy filled energy.  Finally, she arrived home and we jumped out with a very loud MERRY CHRISTMAS, scared the you know what out of her, and then watched her flood with pure bliss filled emotion.  We shared long, love filled hello hugs and my sister had to keep stepping back to look at all of us to convince her brain that yes indeed we really were there.  We must have watched the video of her reaction at least 10 more times that day and each time we would all tear up in the disbelief of what was actually happening.  My sister and I are extremely close our childhood struggles, hurts and disappointments have created a bond between us that I can not begin to express how grateful I am to have.  She has always filled my world with surprises and love, even when our worlds around us were sometimes crashing down upon us at an accelerated rate.  It was so amazing to be part of an opportunity to give back to her, even just a little bit.  This experience stirred a sensation inside that lingered for days and realistically is still hanging around.  It was another element of happiness and I could contribute it to how surprising others, whom I love, made me feel.  It feels AMAZING.  So I have decided that part of choosing happy is indeed filling life with surprises.  Surprises that you do for the people you love.  What's interesting is these surprises don't have to be big.  It can be as simple as putting a business card with I love you written in highlighter of the door crease of your loved one's car (true story my lovely hubby does this for me often).  It can be putting a note in child's lunch box, showing up at there school with a new sippy cup, rearranging their stuffies in the shape of the letter of their first name.  Surprises big or little they all matter and they create a connection and moment where you are only focussed on that person.  These surprises also let that person know you were thinking of them.  In the act of planning or actually surprising the person you love, you are filled with reminders of why you love them, how much it means to you when they are happy and how their happiness totally contributes to your happiness.  I am always searching for more tools on how to connect with happiness because life will definitely present obstacles that can get in the way of seeing aspects of joy.  To me including surprises as a regular part of my life is another way I can continue choosing happy.